But The Sign Outside Said " Leave Me Alone"

It's true. Im screaming inside.

I AM LOST!

I know lots of my friends have been wondering about - where the hell am I. It's just these past few months I'm having an emotional breakdown and should some people say as being emo. I'm not sure and I think I'm bipolar. At one time I will laugh out loud and another time, I'll just sit quietly in the corner.

I miss cuddling. I haven't found anybody to cuddle to except my mom since I got back from the states. I miss the body warmth that wrap around your body and that makes you feel safe and home. No one can harm you. Especially when the weather is cold. And this here I admit , I miss this somebody.

The way he looked at me, I just cant forget bout it. Wherever you are, I know you're serving right now, I hope you're safe and found someone far way better. I dont know why i will always got emotional when people talk bout the war in the middle east. This clear view of you in the middle east will make me feel uncomfortable. I hope you are safe there.

I miss your perfume. The moment when you say " Hey" to me every morning.

I don' t even have your picture or anything. How stupid I was.

 I wish I could stay longer that night.

And this is a letter for you. I'M SORRY.

It Hurts To Know The Truth.

"Some people fight,

Some people fall,

Others pretend, they dont care at all. "

- "Heart Never Lies"- McFly

These few weeks, I've been emotionally challenged. Having to confront the truth and knowing all of the secrets that you've been hiding from me. For the last two years, I've never thought that this thing would ever happen to me.

For some reason, I've been defending you and stuff before this but right now, i dont know which side am I in. I cried so hard when the truth came out.

I didnt mean to "kutuk"you or what, I know everybody makes mistakes and so do I but this has gone way too far.

It's ok if you're fat, skinny, tall, short as long as you are sincere to be friends with me and i'm more than honor to be friends with you too.

I feel BETRAYED

After I heard about the truth, I asked you the same questions again and again and yes, you gave me those answers that made me gone mad. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I know i'm that stupid, easily fooled , quiet girl and it all starts to wake me up.